Maslow Before Bloom, Revisited: Practical School–Home Connections
- Greg Mullen
- Aug 23
- 9 min read
In 2020, when I first wrote about “Maslow Before Bloom,” the world was living through school-at-home. Families and teachers alike were suddenly in charge of navigating not just academics, but emotional and physical well-being, all under one roof, while keeping up with many other personal, social, and societal shifts. At the time, I emphasized that students cannot truly “Bloom” (develop cognitively and academically) without first “Maslow-ing” (having their essential needs met).
Now, five years later, the phrase still holds weight with schools and families. But what I’ve since realized in talking with teachers and parents about this concept is this:
Maslow’s hierarchy is less a strict ladder and more a living ecosystem.
You don’t have to perfectly fulfill one layer before moving to the next. Instead, the completeness of one layer simply makes the next more accessible, and that any "gaps" in one layer will only make the next more fragile but not completely inaccessible.
We are always developing and maintaining these layers in all of us throughout our lives. For schools and families, this means our work is not to check off needs one tier at a time, but to create overlapping supports across school and home through our interactions and systems for getting through each day and week so children (and adults!) can fluidly develop and sustain development among all tiers without losing ground. The most powerful way to do this for students in schools is by intentionally weaving together school strategies and home strategies, creating a bridge between them in the process.
Physiological & Safety Needs: The Foundation, But Never Finished
Maslow’s first two tiers are physiological (food, sleep, shelter) and safety (stability, security) which might sound basic but they are never “done.” They must be replenished daily, like water in a well.
At School: A teacher notices a student yawning through morning lessons. Instead of assuming disinterest, she checks in: “Rough night of sleep?” Later, she encourages the student to visit the calm corner and practice a breathing exercise to recover.
At Home: A family institutes a simple bedtime routine involving teeth brushing, a story, and then lights out. Predictability lowers stress. This routine is posted on the fridge so the kids know what to expect.
The Bridge: Teacher can send home breathing cards students use at school so if and when bedtime anxiety strikes, the child and the family both know a strategy for addressing those big feelings.
Yes, a child can still learn fractions even if they’re tired, but fatigue makes it harder to sustain focus. Meeting safety and physiological needs doesn’t guarantee academic success, but it removes the biggest barriers to it.
Belonging Needs: The Glue Between Needs and Learning
The belonging tier is often the hidden hinge of the Maslow hierarchy. A student who feels unsafe may still seek belonging as comfort, and a student who feels unseen may struggle even when food and shelter are stable.
At School: The teacher begins each day with a morning circle, where every student shares a “rose and thorn” from their life. Students hear each other’s voices and learn that everyone carries struggles and joys.
At Home: At dinner, a parent asks, “Who made you feel included today?” or "Who did you help feel included today?" instead of the usual “How was school?” This small shift helps children connect belonging at school with belonging at home, with open-ended questions to avoid yes/no responses (or the dreaded "fine" response).
The Bridge: Teachers can send weekly reflection prompts for families to use. One week: “When did you help someone belong?” The next: “When did someone help you feel included?” The classroom language can inform family language which can be adapted to the style and personality of each specific family.
Belonging doesn’t wait until every safety need is secure. A child can be food-insecure and still find belonging in a caring classroom, but it can look and feel different due to that underlying barrier. Developing this belonging can potentially soften the stress of unmet needs, helping to make learning more possible.
Esteem Needs: Growth That Depends on Recognition
Esteem needs can often be misread as a vanity level of pride or self-importance. But in Maslow’s terms, esteem is about confidence, self-respect, and the sense that effort matters.
At School: A teacher praises persistence: “I noticed you tried three different ways to solve that problem. That’s determination.” The focus is on process, not just correctness.
At Home: A parent avoids saying “You’re so smart” and instead says, “You worked hard on that puzzle and it shows--it looks great!”
The Bridge: Teacher and parent agree to use the same praise formula: “I noticed you…” followed by the specific behavior. The consistency strengthens esteem because students hear the same message in both spaces.
A child can feel a sense of belonging without esteem, but belonging without recognition and this sense of esteem can slide into feelings of invisibility. Esteem deepens belonging by showing that an individual’s contributions matter. This is critical throughout a child's development, particularly in early and late childhood ages (3-12).
Self-Actualization Needs: When Choice Meets Purpose
Self-actualization is where Maslow’s hierarchy is often viewed as a mountaintop but, in reality, it is not a place of "arrival" as much as a place of continual becoming. Even when people meet many of their needs, they keep discovering new ways to learn, how to express themselves in ways that match their developing interests and personal growth, and become more fully who they are continually becoming as a whole person throughout their lifetime.
At School: Students design their own projects, turning a science unit into a skit, or a math concept into a cooking challenge.
At Home: Parents give meaningful choices: “Do you want to show me what you learned in a drawing or by teaching it to me like the teacher?” In this way, agency and autonomy are reinforced and engagement is more about the connection of the relationship more than a practiced expectation of perceived assessment and feedback.
The Bridge: Teachers can offer “choice menus” that include home-friendly options such as reading a recipe, interviewing a family member, or helping purchase small items at a store with cash and coins. Students see that learning flows across settings.
What's important is to reflect on how this layer of Self-Actualization doesn’t require every lower tier to be perfectly intact. A student living with food insecurity can still paint a masterpiece or imagine a future career. But the cracks in the foundation make sustaining that actualization more difficult. That’s why bridges matter: They strengthen and reinforce fragile layers.
Conflict Resolution Across All Tiers
One common thread across the hierarchy is conflict, both intrapersonal (within one's own perception of their abilities) and interpersonal (involving others such as siblings or classmates. Conflict resolution strategies can help anchor development across all tiers.
At School: Students practice using “I-statements”: “I feel upset when you cut in line because I want fairness.” This helps to develop comfort in communicating their own needs in ways that decrease the chance of emotional escalation.
At Home: Parents model respectful disagreements between each other as well as with their children. To a spouse or partner: “We have a fridge full of cooked meals. If you really want to order in, how can we incorporate what we already have?" To a child: “I hear you; you really want to play your game, and I need you to help set the table. What’s a fair way to balance both so the table is set properly and you get to play your game?”
The Bridge: The classroom conflict resolution poster goes home, so children use the same steps everywhere.
Conflict is not a sign that any layer is necessarily broken. Conflict is a natural part of developing these layers. Resolution strategies ensure conflict becomes growth, not fracture. In other words, what matters most is not whether conflict happens (because it will!) but whether children, parents, and teachers have the tools to work through that conflict in ways that strengthen these layers.
Resolution Strategies: Turning Conflict into Growth
The way conflict is handled must adapt to who is involved. The same strategy (e.g. “I-statements”) will land differently when spoken between peers, between parent and child, or between spouses and partners. Structural relationships and power dynamics matter when modeling strategies for our students at home and in the classroom.
At School: Guided Practice in a Safe Setting
Teachers can normalize conflict by building routines for how to handle it. For example, when two students argue over who gets the ball at recess, the teacher brings them to a “peace corner” with sentence stems:
“I feel ___ when ___.”
“What I need is ___.”
Instead of the teacher imposing the solution, students practice hearing each other’s perspectives. The teacher guides the process, not the outcome, modeling that conflict is an expected part of community life and can be solved respectfully.
To make this practice meaningful, teachers can give structured options just as parents do at home. In the ball example, the teacher might say: “You can choose to take turns every two minutes, or you can decide together on a new game that includes both of you. If you can’t agree, I will need to hold the ball until you’re ready to try again.”
It’s important that the teacher follows through on these outcomes. This helps students see that conflict resolution isn’t about punishment but about taking ownership of choices. They may feel frustrated in the moment, but over time this builds trust that classroom rules are fair and consistent.
Teachers should also model how to handle likely escalations such as eye rolling, yelling, or refusing to speak. In those moments, they may decide to validate the student first by clearly and calmly stating: “I see you’re upset. Let’s pause and breathe before we try again. I will listen to you but not if you are going to [yell, cry, scream, hit, etc.]” Just as at home, consistency matters more than immediate success. The repetition of the process reinforces that the classroom is a safe place to practice difficult conversations.
At Home: Modeling Respectful Disagreements
Parents can model conflict resolution in two ways: between themselves and with their children. For example:
With each other: “I know you’d like to watch a show, and I’d like to finish the dishes. You can choose to relax now while I start cleaning and then help me finish during the commercial break, or we can do the dishes together quickly and then both sit down to watch.”
Be sure to actually honor the option you both choose. The point is not to “win” the disagreement, but to demonstrate compromise and partnership. Even if one spouse feels disappointed in the moment, the consistent practice of shared decision-making reinforces mutual respect and fairness in the relationship.
With a child: “I hear you want to keep playing outside, and I need you to get ready for bed. You can choose to come in now so we have extra time for a story, or wait five minutes but then go straight to bed."
Be sure to follow-through consistently with choices and consequences to reinforce the idea that the parent is not punishing but rather that the child had made a choice. They may be upset but, over time, this helps to develop clear expectations about your roles as a the parent and the child.
By modeling to children/students that disagreements don’t end relationships, parents teach their children that respect and problem-solving go hand in hand which can be reinforced in the classroom with developmentally-appropriate peer-based resolution strategies.
The Bridge: Shared Language Across Home and School
The most effective strategies appear in both settings. If a classroom uses the “Stop–Talk–Walk” method (Stop the behavior, Talk it out, Walk away if needed), parents can use similar language at home. If students practice “I-statements” across grade levels at school, families can put a poster on the fridge to use them in sibling arguments. In the case that teachers use different strategies across grade levels appropriate for their age and development, it is important to remind older siblings of the strategies their younger siblings are practicing. This may also involve discussions about respect, fairness, and trust at home and at school.
The bottom line is the consistency of this bridge. It ensures children don’t have to relearn the “rules of resolution” at home than at school and with different teachers. They begin to trust that the same respectful tools apply across contexts at school and at home. How conflict is handled outside of these relevant student contexts (e.g. in the larger community or in the media) can either reinforce these skills by modeling respect and fairness, or undermine them by showing that conflict is handled through blame, avoidance, or aggression. Having these conversations openly can help children/students identify how conflicts outside of their environments might have been better resolved.
The Takeaway: An Ecosystem, Not a Ladder
Maslow before Bloom was never meant to be a rigid order of operations. Needs don’t unlock like video game levels. Instead, think of the hierarchy as an ecosystem—roots, soil, water, and sunlight—that all work together to make growth possible.
When schools provide structure, homes provide stability, and both work together through shared strategies, students move more fluidly between tiers.
When one tier is incomplete, it doesn’t block all learning—but it makes the next tier harder to sustain.
The goal isn’t perfection at every tier, but accessibility: giving students multiple pathways to climb, rest, and climb again.
Final Reflection
In 2020, I wrote that families and schools must ensure students “Maslow” before they can “Bloom.” Now, in 2025 and beyond, I’d add this: we must Maslow together. When schools and homes bridge strategies, students experience more consistency and care needed to "Maslow" in order to "Bloom" and not just as learners but as a whole person within our various communities of people throughout our collective existence on this planet.
Greg Mullen
August 23, 2025
