Understanding Trust: How Trust Shapes Personal Attributes and Behaviors
- Greg Mullen
- 4 hours ago
- 9 min read
Trust as a Core Value is more than the belief that someone will keep a promise. At its foundation, Trust is built on three core components: competence (Can you do it?), reliability (Will you do it consistently?), and care (Will you do it with others’ well-being in mind?). These elements form the conceptual basis of trust—they help us understand why we begin to trust someone, including ourselves. When these components are strong, people take healthy risks, collaborate openly, and lead with confidence. When they weaken, hesitation and guardedness take root.
However, what this article explores is how these components are reflected. These three components are indeed essential to grasp what trust is, but this article focuses not on defining these components individually, but on exploring how Trust is expressed through two dynamic tensions that shape behavior: (1) the tension between Initiative Development (autonomous vs. collaborative) and (2) Boundary Management (selective vs. transparent).
These tensions form the axes of four distinct Trust mindsets, each offering a different way we interpret, express, and balance trust in real-world behavior.
1. Initiative Development
This tension reflects how we approach action and responsibility. It ranges from self-driven independence to shared, structured effort.
Empowered Autonomy – Acting independently with confidence and self-direction. Trust grows when individuals are allowed to take ownership and exercise judgment without constant oversight. For example, a teacher creates a new student feedback system without admin approval, trusting their judgment to improve the classroom experience.
Guided Collaboration – Acting dependably within structured, shared efforts. Trust develops through consistent coordination, shared goals, and mutual accountability. For example, a school counselor follows a team protocol for student referrals, ensuring coordination and consistency across departments.
2. Boundary Management
This tension reflects how openly we communicate and share information. It spans from cautious, intentional sharing to full transparency.
Selective Disclosure – Sharing information thoughtfully for control or privacy. Trust is built through discernment, protecting relationships while maintaining personal or professional boundaries. For example, a manager informs their team about changes to the project scope but withholds sensitive client concerns until a solution is in place.
Unrestricted Transparency – Sharing openly to build mutual understanding and trust. Trust is fostered through openness, vulnerability, and accessibility. For example, a principal holds an open forum to explain budget cuts, including their emotional struggle with the decisions, to build staff understanding and alignment.
Each of us expresses these tensions differently depending on the situation, but we often lean toward one side of each. These preferences influence how we interpret and demonstrate Trust in our daily behaviors—and together, they form the two axes that generate four distinct trust mindsets, each with unique values, challenges, and expressions of virtues (and vices).
The Four Trust Mindsets
The following quadrants are shaped by the intersection of the two key tensions that define Trust as a Core Value. While no one is limited to a single quadrant, individuals often show consistent preferences over time, depending on the contexts and situations they navigate.
Structured Dependability
(Guided Collaboration ✕ Selective Disclosure)
Core Belief: “I show up and share what’s necessary to keep the system running smoothly.”
Illustrations of this Mindset:
Middle School Principal: The principal leads a weekly leadership meeting using a fixed agenda and clear talking points. She shares only what each department needs to know, ensuring alignment without overwhelming staff with broader district details.
Middle School Teacher: A teacher updates the class on schedule changes and assignment expectations using a structured slideshow. She avoids extended discussions to keep students on track and minimize confusion.
Middle School Student: A student turns in all assignments on time and participates in group work by following directions exactly. He speaks up only when he’s sure he has the “right” answer, relying on clear instructions over personal input.
Takeaway: Trust here is system-oriented. People rely on consistency, role clarity, and shared routines. Relationships function smoothly but may lack depth, as openness is measured and structured.
Strategic Self-Protection
(Empowered Autonomy ✕ Selective Disclosure)
Core Belief: “I trust myself, but I’m cautious about who gets access to what.”
Illustrations:
Middle School Principal: The principal creates a detailed improvement plan based on school data but shares it selectively with staff until certain strategies are finalized. She prefers to ensure clarity and control before inviting broad input.
Middle School Teacher: A teacher designs her own system for tracking student progress but doesn’t openly share it with colleagues, believing her approach works best for her classroom and doesn’t need external validation.
Middle School Student: A student completes high-quality work independently and avoids group projects when possible. She keeps her personal struggles private, choosing when (and with whom) to share more about her experiences.
Takeaway: This quadrant thrives on independence and precision. Trust is built slowly and shared selectively. Openness is not avoided, but it’s earned—used strategically, not freely.
Empathic Stewardship
(Guided Collaboration ✕ Unrestricted Transparency)
Core Belief: “I trust that openness builds strength—together, we grow better.”
Illustrations:
Middle School Principal: The principal openly shares school-wide challenges with staff including declining attendance and budget constraints, inviting staff input on creative solutions and modeling honest, inclusive leadership.
Middle School Teacher: A teacher regularly asks students for feedback on classroom routines and lesson clarity, then displays student suggestions and co-develops changes, showing that every voice shapes the learning experience.
Middle School Student: A student creates a class discussion group and freely shares their notes and challenges on an assignment, encouraging peers to do the same so they can help each other improve and feel less alone in their learning.
Takeaway: Trust becomes a relational engine. People feel safe to speak honestly and share responsibility. Transparency is a norm, not a risk—used to build trust, not control it.
Reflective Independence
(Empowered Autonomy ✕ Unrestricted Transparency)
Core Belief: “I trust myself to share everything because I’m not afraid of the truth.”
Illustrations:
Middle School Principal: The principal writes a weekly newsletter to staff that includes personal reflections on leadership mistakes and lessons learned, using her own vulnerability to foster a culture of honest growth.
Middle School Teacher: A teacher starts each unit by sharing a story of a past teaching failure related to the topic, encouraging students to take risks and reminding them that even teachers are still learning.
Middle School Student: A student journals publicly on the school’s digital platform about a poor grade, breaking down what went wrong—not to complain, but to reflect and model resilience with and for their peers.
Takeaway: Trust here is radically personal. Openness is a strength, not a liability. High autonomy is paired with bold self-disclosure, making space for others to grow through shared honesty.
How Trust Mindsets Shape our Six Core Virtues
The expression of any virtue—like Courage, Wit, or Temperance—can vary widely depending on how we relate to Trust. In the framework below, Trust is shaped by two key tensions: our stance toward initiative (autonomous vs. collaborative) and transparency (selective vs. open). These tensions form four distinct Trust mindsets, each of which tends to express a virtue differently—not just in how it looks on the outside, but in its purpose, emotional risk, and relational logic. Crucially, each mindset often orients itself to avoid a specific vice—either excess or deficiency of the virtue in question.
The result is a behavioral map that reveals not only how we trust ourselves and others in the real world, but why we do so in the way we do.
As you look through the following charts, focus on one virtue at a time and observe how its expression shifts across the four Trust mindsets. You’ll notice that these shifts aren’t just stylistic—they reflect deeper motivations about what kind of risk we’re willing to take and which vice we’re instinctively trying to avoid. For example, someone expressing Courage through Structured Dependability might rely on institutional safeguards to avoid recklessness, while someone in Reflective Independence might risk vulnerability to avoid cowardice. Neither is right or wrong—but each emerges from a specific configuration of autonomy, transparency, and relational trust (key conceptual elements of Trust).
As you reflect, ask: What is my typical way of expressing this virtue? Which vice am I steering away from—and might I be leaning too far in the opposite direction? By identifying your trust mindset and its associated tilt, you open up the possibility of intentional recalibration—developing a fuller, more flexible expression of virtue that meets the needs of each unique situation.
1. Courage
Courage balances between cowardice (fearful inaction) and recklessness (impulsive risk-taking).
Trust Mindset | Expression of Courage |
Structured Dependability | Faces risk through procedure—follows rules to protect others. Avoids recklessness by sticking to clear roles, but may risk cowardice if the system discourages initiative. |
Strategic Self-Protection | Sets and defends personal boundaries. Avoids recklessness through cautious independence, but may lean toward cowardice by avoiding emotional or social vulnerability. |
Empathic Stewardship | Speaks out with others, using openness to confront systemic or relational harm. Avoids cowardice through group-driven action but may flirt with recklessness if overexposing group dynamics. |
Reflective Independence | Shares personal failures and truths openly. Avoids cowardice by modeling vulnerability, but risks recklessness when transparency lacks situational awareness. |
2. Wit
Wit balances between dull literalism (deficiency) and cutting mockery (excess).
Trust Mindset | Expression of Wit |
Structured Dependability | Uses humor to reinforce norms and smooth tension. Avoids mockery by keeping jokes safe, but risks dullness if too constrained by decorum. |
Strategic Self-Protection | Uses sarcasm to shield or deflect. Avoids dullness with edge, but risks mockery when humor becomes defensive or distancing. |
Empathic Stewardship | Uses playful humor to build openness and group cohesion. Avoids dullness through levity and avoids mockery by anchoring humor in empathy. |
Reflective Independence | Uses raw, honest comedy to explore uncomfortable truths. Avoids dullness through fearless expression, but may risk mockery if humor becomes self-indulgent or hurtful. |
3. Pride
Pride balances between diffidence (lack of self-worth) and vanity (inflated self-importance).
Trust Mindset | Expression of Pride |
Structured Dependability | Takes pride in fulfilling clear responsibilities and meeting expectations. Avoids vanity by staying humble but may risk diffidence if external approval becomes the only measure. |
Strategic Self-Protection | Finds pride in precision, mastery, and self-reliance. Avoids diffidence by owning competence, but may lean toward vanity if independence becomes superiority. |
Empathic Stewardship | Feels proud of collaborative growth and shared success. Avoids vanity by uplifting others, but may risk diffidence if personal contributions are under-acknowledged. |
Reflective Independence | Anchors pride in personal authenticity and moral transparency. Avoids diffidence by embracing self-expression but risks vanity if pride becomes performative or self-focused. |
4. Magnanimity
Magnanimity balances between stinginess (withholding generosity) and showy largesse (performative giving).
Trust Mindset | Expression of Magnanimity |
Structured Dependability | Gives as roles require—donates time or effort where duty calls. Avoids excessive display, but may risk stinginess if giving becomes only obligation-bound. |
Strategic Self-Protection | Gives discreetly and selectively—often anonymously or when there's low personal cost. Avoids showiness, but may lean toward stinginess if protection overrides generosity. |
Empathic Stewardship | Gives freely with group goals in mind—donates time or care to elevate shared success. Avoids stinginess and vanity by anchoring giving in community wellbeing. |
Reflective Independence | Gives openly and authentically, often without recognition. Avoids stinginess through selfless generosity, but risks showy largesse if giving becomes tied to identity or ego. |
5. Friendliness
Friendliness balances between guarded hostility (deficiency) and ingratiating flattery (excess).
Trust Mindset | Expression of Friendliness |
Structured Dependability | Engages with courteous, role-based warmth. Avoids flattery through professionalism but risks guardedness when deeper rapport is discouraged. |
Strategic Self-Protection | Chooses friendliness strategically, offering warmth only when trust is earned. Avoids flattery through sincerity, but may lean toward hostility or coldness if too self-protective. |
Empathic Stewardship | Builds bridges with genuine curiosity and relational openness. Avoids both flattery and guardedness by anchoring friendliness in mutual respect. |
Reflective Independence | Expresses connection through raw honesty and self-disclosure. Avoids guardedness with transparency, but risks flattery or oversharing if boundaries aren’t clear. |
6. Temperance
Temperance balances between indulgence (excess) and suppression (deficiency).
Trust Mindset | Expression of Temperance |
Structured Dependability | Self-regulates through rules and routines—follows institutional norms to maintain balance. Avoids indulgence through structure but may lean toward suppression if emotions are hidden. |
Strategic Self-Protection | Regulates emotional output to conserve energy and privacy. Avoids indulgence through restraint but may veer into suppression if self-expression is consistently withheld. |
Empathic Stewardship | Paces emotional labor to maintain connection and avoid burnout. Avoids suppression by sharing intentionally and indulgence by being attuned to collective needs. |
Reflective Independence | Sets boundaries only when authenticity is at risk—emotions are shared unless they conflict with inner values. Avoids suppression through openness, but may risk indulgence if expression isn't moderated. |
Practical Tools: Navigate Trust, Don't Force It
Just like with other Core Values, the Trust quadrants are a compass, not a cage. They help us navigate behavior with intention. Here are three ways to engage with Trust in practical and meaningful ways:
1. Track Your Behaviors
Each day, reflect on one moment where trust was gained, withheld, or misjudged. Which quadrant did it stem from?
2. Do a Mapping Exercise
With your team or family, map where each person typically operates. Not to label—but to understand the conditions they need for trust to deepen.
3. Choose One Shift
For 30 days, practice one virtue (e.g., Friendliness) from a new Trust quadrant. If you’re guarded, try open collaboration. If you overshare, try strategic silence. Document what happens.
Final Thought: Trust is the Soil, Not the Fruit
Many people treat trust as a reward earned after proving yourself. But in reality, trust is the soil—from which courage, creativity, and collaboration grow. It’s not something we "give" after enough evidence; it's something we design intentionally through our stance on transparency, initiative, boundaries, and care.
So, locate yourself.
Ask: Do I trust myself more than I trust others? Do I share too much or too little? Do I withhold action until there’s structure—or do I initiate with openness?
You’re not locked in.
Pivot where needed. Grow from there.
Trust builds everything. Especially who we become.
Greg Mullen
June 22, 2025
